dear emmy...

dear emmy,

you are now 27 weeks old in this belly of mine, and making your presence known by your kicks and wiggles. and i love feeling every single one of them.

you are clearly needing regular doses of chocolate milk, apples, cereal, crackers&cheese, lemon, cottage cheese, dried pineapple, grapes, bottled marinated italian veggies, chicken tiki masala, ice cream with caramel sauce and anything blueberry because that's what you are making your mama crave.

from our last sonogram about a month ago, you are already so beautiful and look so much like your older sister. she asks about you all the time, by the way. no matter how she acts when you get here, she loves you so much. she has a book on being a big sister and she calls it her "emmy book". she has a baby in her dollhouse who she refers to as emmy and hugs and kisses her allll the time (okay, she bites her and puts her in the oven too, but we'll go with the hugging/kissing thing). and the other day while she was eating her snack she said "i feed emmy animal crackers too?" she's very concerned about you already. she'll be a great big sister.

i got your first baby clothes the other day in the mail. i know you'll get to wear most of bella's old clothes, but i wanted you to have some special things that were just yours. i ordered you some the other day and was so excited to get them. i forget how small newborn clothes are. so cute.

you liked church today. i could feel you squirming around in there. you are up on stage with me a couple times a month when i sing on the worship team with your uncle brian. your sister loves watching us. i smile at the thought that you get to hear us from in my belly. you'll be hearing me sing a lot to you once you are here, so it's good to get used to ;)

you haven't made your mama too uncomfortable yet. thank you for that. although there have been a few times at night, or while trudging around the grocery store where i feel like i have to be at least 40 weeks along. you've made my belly quite a bit bigger than it was when i was pregnant with your sister! i think you just like making your space to lounge. i also haven't had as much heartburn this time, although just yesterday you gave me quite the stomach ache. it's okay, though.

emmy faith, i will always tell you that you were born "for such a time as this". your arrival in april gives us such hope and joy in a time of life that is sad and heavy. your bampy died in november, but he left us knowing that you were going to be coming to us in just a few months. he was so excited. knowing that you are on your way brings such excitement to our family and we know that god is bringing you into this world at such a perfect time.

for such a time as this.

i love you, my sweet girl! can't wait to see your precious face and hold you in my arms. you are such a blessing to us!

love,
your mama
xoxo

multitude monday.

331. snow days from school. especially since nick&i both work at a school. there's nothing like staying in your pajamas all day, watching the snow fall from the sky. i.love.it.
332. the smell of homemade bread baking and filling up my house.
333. bella's tiny hand grasping mine. there's nothing quite like that feeling.
334. how servant-hearted my husband is. this weekend he finished the laundry for me that i had started, ran to the grocery, cleaned the kitchen a couple of times, cleaned toilets AND made dinner last night. yeah, he's the best.
335. girls night out with two of my best friends from high school. we decided it's going to be a monthly occurance. so thankful for them.
336. warm bread dipped in olive oil & garlic salt. oh my. a fav.

burlap covered frames.

so i've been spending most of my free time these days finishing up little projects here and there in our living room/dining room/kitchen area before i tackle our bedrooms. it's the area of our house that most people see, so i've been anxious to get it spruced up as soon as possible.

in our living room sits a wingback chair that belonged to my parents. mom told me it was given to her and dad from my grandparents as a wedding gift, so i love the sentiment that brings... especially these days. any tangible reminder that i have of my dad is such a blessing. i'd love to get it recovered someday, but thankfully it's cream colored and for now fits in with our living room decor very well. i made some cute little throw pillows for it the other day with some fabric i found on sale at joanns this summer. i love the color they add to our chair.

(i also found a little bird bath/garden accessory at tj maxx this summer that i love. i put it beside the chair because it's just too pretty to have outside! it completes the space for me and i love how vintage-y and shabby chic it looks. the lamp on the other side of the chair is an old antique brass one that belonged to my grandparents.)

the wall space above our chair was a bit awkward, but it looked so empty i needed to figure out something. one of the issues was the thermostat--a blaring silver knob that was just in the way. oh well. i don't think it would make sense to get rid of it and compromise our heating in the name of decorating... especially in maine... although i may have been tempted.

i found an old gold-ish frame and used a mat and photo that i already had on hand to create an art piece for the wall. i needed something to balance the wall space so i began to scour our house. as i was fishing around through what i had on hand, i found the brown picture frames i had above our old couch in our apartment in dallas. and then i remembered i had some burlap in my fabric stash. perfect.

i cut the burlap into strips and using my trusty glue gun, i wrapped two frames with it. i love the textured, natural look of the frames and their neutral shade against the colorful pop of the throw pillows.

and best of all?
they
were
free.

i love re-purposing items i already have on hand and just giving them a different look. fabric, spray paint, scrapbook paper and modpodge are great tools to help in the process. such an inexpensive way to decorate aaaaand you can be creative in what you do. even if it seems weird. you can afford to take risks because even if they fail, you're using things you already have anyway. no big loss. i'll be posting a few other re-purposing projects i've been working on soon :)

happy saturday!

what's for breakfast this morning {homemade french vanilla coffee creamer}.

i *love* coffee creamer. and i'll be honest. i probably love it more than i love coffee. i get excited to try new flavors when they come out, and i always like my coffee better at home than in a restaurant because of my beloved creamer.

i know. i said i'd be honest.

when i saw this recipe on pinterest for homemade french vanilla coffee creamer, i knew i wanted to try it. nick&i like to eat healthy, and we're always up for eliminating chemicals and processed junk out of our diets. we are big fans of jamie oliver and i once heard him say that "if you don't recognize an ingredient, or your grandma wouldn't have cooked with it, then don't eat it."

this struck a chord with me because oftentimes i'm drawn into the "light" or "low fat" foods that are really just more unhealthy and processed in so many ways. we've made little changes... nothing too drastic... we use real maple syrup now instead of aunt jemima. i try to use real butter more often in recipes. and just this year i've started making all of our bread from scratch. i'm always up for being able to control the ingredients we put in our bellies, and love the challenge of making things on my own to guarantee they are healthier than usual.

(obviously with some exceptions if you've read any of my recent recipe posts... everything in moderation; although it will be back to healthier eating once emmy is here and i'm not craving baked mac&cheese or chocolate chip cookie bars).

anyway.

i checked out the label on the back of my latest bottle of white chocolate caramel latte creamer... i mean, what pregnant woman wouldn't enjoy that?! i was mortified to see what i've been consuming in my daily cups of morning coffee. i'm pretty sure the only ingredient i recognized on the list was water.

yikes.

this recipe is super easy, and you can adjust it according to your personal taste and preference. and a whole jar lasted us about a week, which isn't bad for how inexpensive it is.

and not to mention, chemical-free.

homemade french vanilla coffee creamer

* 14 oz can of sweetened condensed milk
* 14 oz of milk (i used half skim, and half 1/2&1/2 for some extra creaminess)
* 2 t. vanilla extract or coffee syrup for stronger flavor
* a mason jar (a quart sized one works well)

- combine all ingredients in your mason jar. screw lid on tightly and shake well. voila. you're done.

easy peasy, right? really delish and guess what? not one of the ingredients is water. i like it.

bella's letters.

i'm in the process of planning out bella's new "big girl room". we decided since we're having another girl, how great it would be to just leave bella's current nursery basically as is and add a few special touches for emmy. makes my job a whole lot easier, and i love bella's crib bedding and the girlie (think pink!), vintage-y way we decorated her nursery. when we get furniture rearranged and the last few decorating endeavors finished, i'll be sure to post a pic of emmy's soon-to-be-pad.

i've decided i wanted to do a vintage-eclectic room for bel. lots of color, and mis-matchy things (is that even a word? aaahh well. i vote yes). i ordered these sheets from target:

love them. complete with a white bedspread and a colorful, pretty quilt at the foot of her bed it will be perfect. i've got a bunch of ideas swirling around in this head of mine, but i'm trying to take one project at a time. which includes projects all over our house... so it's all definitely a work in progress. but one that i enjoy... if i'm patient enough with the process :)

i wanted to do something different for bella's letters in her new room. this was how her name was displayed in her nursery:

i think this is how i'll do emmy's name since i still have these frames. aaaand i happen to think it's super cute. but i knew i wanted to change it up for bel, and when i saw this image on pinterest and was immediately inspired.

going to be scouring the yard now for a good branch. since i already had her wooden letters (i ordered them from this site; super inexpensive and i love them!), this project was easy and inexpensive. i toyed with the idea of doing the fabric-covered-thing, but decided on a shortcut (after all, i am pregnant... that's always a good excuse to keep things simple, right?!).

enter: modpodge and scrapbook paper. i chose turquoise, pink, red and coral as my main colors since those are in her sheets, and picked out some pretty paper at joanns. then it was simple. i just traced each letter onto the paper, cut it out and modpodged away. here is my final product:

i love how it turned out. can't wait to hang them from a branch in her new room :)

what's for dinner tonight {tuscan pasta with tomato basil cream}.

i love easy dishes. especially when they taste like they're not easy. those are my fav. this is a recipe i got a few years ago from a mentor of mine and it is a great go-to recipe for a quick dinner, or for entertaining guests for dinner.

i've made this a lot for when nick&i have company and did just last night in fact. we *love* having people into our home for a meal. it's one of our favorite things. due to the craziness that has been our life since we moved to maine we haven't had the chance to do it... like, ever. but last night we had a sweet family over for dinner and i made this dish. nick was so blessed to get to work this summer with a guy he became friends with and we've been meaning to have he and his family over for months now and finally did last night. we're so excited to start opening our home up to others and getting to build on the relationships that we are forming here in our new home.

ok, back to the pasta. it's super delish. run out and get these ingredients, people. you will not be sorry.

tuscan pasta with tomato basil cream

* 1 (20 oz) package of refrigerated four cheese ravioli
* 1 (16 oz) jar of sundried tomato alfredo sauce (the brand i use is classico)
* 2 T. white wine
* 1 (14.5 oz) can of diced tomatoes (i like the ones flavored with garlic or italian herbs)
* 1/2 c. fresh basil, chopped
* 1/3 c. parmesan cheese
* fresh basil strips for garnish

- cook ravioli according to directions on package.
- over medium-low heat, pour sundried tomato alfredo sauce into a medium saucepan. add wine to empty jar and shake well. add wine mixture to the sauce. stir in diced tomatoes and basil and cook for approximately five minutes.
- toss with ravioli. top with parmesan cheese and basil strips.

for some reason i have always served this pasta in my glass trifle dish. it looks pretty and makes it seem like a fancy schmancy meal even though it's super easy :)

seriously. you need to try this dish.

{photo source}

multitude monday.

318. snow days.
319. our woodstove and mugs of hot chocolate.
320. watching movies in bed with nick.
321. bella's hugs around my neck.
322. chicken tiki masala, naan, a cute indian restaurant downtown and my man looking oh-so-handsome.
323. watching our house become a home.
324. ikea picture frames.
325. quiet time with jesus.
326. pina colada smoothies.
327. homemade caramel sauce from a good friend.
328. celebrating my nephew's second birthday. love him.
329. god's provision for all of our needs.
330. my sweet family. oh, how i love them.

no sew valance from fabric scraps.

aaaaaand here's my first attempt at a "sewing" tutorial. i'm *really* bad at taking pictures as i go along in craft projects. like, really bad. i just get going and have to concentrate so hard that throwing a camera into the mix is just too much sometimes.

but today, for you my lovely readers, i tried really hard.

i have a new best friend. it's called stitch witchery. and it's amazing. i have a lovely sewing machine that my husband's grandmother gave all of us granddaughters, but it was right before i gave birth to bella and just haven't had the time to learn how to use it. i feel hopeless in the arena of sewing unless i do it by hand, which is really annoying.

i bought this beautiful fabric on sale at joann's this summer. i used it to make no sew pillow covers for our couch last sunday (sunday during bella's naps have become my crafting day)... i will post that tutorial soon. but i've been wanting to use the leftover scraps to create a valance for our bare kitchen window.

i started by measuring the length i would need to fit our window (plus some extra to allow for hems) and realized i didn't have a long enough piece left from my scraps. so... i found some other scraps of fabric i bought a few years ago with a friend in dallas. it's plain off-white with a beautiful embroidered pattern of branches and leaves in the fabric. i love it. i knew i could piece it together with my other fabric to create my valance. perfect match.

i began by ironing my fabric so that i could accurately measure it without wrinkles. then, i laid out my scraps and measured each the length and width that i would need. after cutting them, i lined them up and began my plan of attack.

aaaaand... begin tutorial; bear with me, i'm going to try really hard to explain what i did!

no sew valance

materials:
* fabric (you may have enough to use just one strip of fabric, but i had to use three, so that's what this tutorial will be based on)
* pen
* ruler
* tape measurer
* fabric scissors
* stitch witchery (or other iron fabric adhesive)
* iron/ironing board

- i loosely followed this tutorial i found on pinterest. when i say "loosely" i mean that i looked at it last week and then just made up what i did today as i went along.

- begin with your pre-ironed, pre-measured fabric scraps and lay them all out on a flat surface. plan your hems.

- you'll need to hem your center piece first on the outer edges. follow instructions on your adhesive packaging, but for stitch witchery, set iron onto "cotton" setting; i also made sure my steam setting was on max. using your iron and stitch witchery, fold hem over just to cover the adhesive, hold iron on each section for about 10 seconds; check to make sure it adhered to the fabric. repeat until hem is completed.

- line one end of your additional piece of fabric (wrong side up) up to your hem, using stitch witchery overlap the hem with your fabric piece, and iron to secure.

- repeat with your third strip of fabric on the opposite end. now, you should have your three pieces of fabric all attached neatly.

- hem either end of the valance, as well as the bottom with same method. note: i made the mistake of not measuring as i went along the bottom... which resulted in a very crooked curtain. i had to cut, measure, and hem again. the more you measure as you go along to keep everything even, the better success you'll have and you won't need to redo it like i did!

- finally, using your curtain rod as a guide, fold the top part of your valance over to create a long pocket along the top to slide through your rod. iron the stitch witchery along the bottom edge to hem, leaving ample space to insert your curtain rod.

- to create your ties, choose an alternating piece of fabric (i chose burlap i had on hand) and cut two long strips that are more than double in the length of your valance (example: my valance was 14 inches in width, so i measured 38 inches of burlap to give me enough to loop around my curtain and tie in a knot).

- fold material in half, and adhere using stitch witchery.

- insert your curtain rod through the pocket at the top of your valance and lay on a flat surface. take your ties and loop around your curtain, securing with a knot or a bow on the front.
- now, you're ready to hang your valance! step back, breathe a sigh of relief and admire your handiwork :)

(please ignore all the oak... by the end of the summer with a little elbow grease they will be a lovely antique white!)

hopefully that all made sense... i was very surprised at how easy this project was. sewing (or no-sew) projects can be intimidating to me, but i'm learning that they are very easy to accomplish. just takes a little time and thought.

thank goodness for sundays, for having nick home to help me in case bella's nap ends abruptly, and for my new bff: stitch witchery.

thirty one.

on friday i turned thirty one. sounds old when i actually type out the words. aging doesn't bother me, though. i fully embrace it. each year--each day--is a gift, and i am determined to not get influenced with society's disdain for passing years.

i was a little unprepared for difficult moments this birthday would bring, only two months after my dad passed. he was always one of the first people to call me on my birthdays... excitement filling his voice, "happy birthday, megs!" he'd say and tell me how much he loved me. "you are now officially living your thirty second year of life" he would've told me yesterday.

i miss those calls.

he always wrote the sweetest notes in birthday cards sent from he and mom. this year when i opened mom's card, tears stung as i saw her signature standing alone on the page. it's the little things that i don't prepare for, that pierce my heart in unexpected ways. yesterday was no exception.

it was a good day, though. full of blessings in the midst of those difficult moments. i woke up to find our school had closed due to snow & ice. perfect. the only thing that would've made it better was if nick had gotten a snow day as well. i crawled back in to bed and slept until bella woke up. we ate breakfast together, i had a special surprise gift from a friend delivered to our front porch, and bel and i loaded ourselves into the car and drove to have lunch with my mom and gretchen and jude. chili's. i always want their chips and salsa when i'm pregnant.

after lunch, bel and i both took naps. which is extremely rare for me, so that was a gift in and of itself! when nick got home, he gave me the most beautiful card (which he knows is always the most meaningful gift to me!) filled with sweet words, a command to go get my hair highlighted (yesss) and a promise that we would go antiquing soon (i've been wanting him to come with me to one of my favorite stores). we dropped bella off at mom's and then he took me out to an indian restaurant downtown i've been wanting to try.

oh.my.deliciousness.

i love indian food. nick had never had it and was a little nervous, but he loves me :) he ended up becoming a huge fan. we had a wonderful meal and as we stepped back out onto the street after our dinner, snow was softly falling. it was perfect.

i have been craving pina colada smoothies from a place at the mall and had some birthday money to spend, so we headed there for smoothies and some shopping. even better? i bought a dress (for after emmy... need to remind myself that my body will be "normal" again one day), a necklace, sunglasses and some earrings all for twenty five bucks. awesome.

our birthday-date-night ended with watching movies in bed, which is one of my favorite things. it was a wonderful day spent with my favorite people... another promise of blessings and joy even in the midst of grieving. god is good. all the time.

onto year thirty two...

homesick.

it hasn't even been two months since dad has passed. and in some ways it feels like years. grieving is such a long, slow process. and i'm okay with that. i don't think there will ever be a day that i don't miss my dad--for the rest of my life. i think there will always be a gaping hole where he would have been. sure, it won't always feel so raw and painful. but i'll miss him every day until i get to see him again.

my dad was my rock. he was the first man that ever loved me, took care of me, protected me, made me feel safe. and the only man in my life until there was nick. and he didn't come along until i was twenty six. dad was in so many ways my best friend, my confidant, my source of wisdom in countless things. i still can't watch a football game without wanting to call him after to discuss. or simply thinking of doing tax season without him to consult with throws me into a complete frenzy. and when i have a bad day, or am struggling with trusting god in something i usually first think "i wonder what dad would tell me" since i called him many, many times on those rough days. one of the last things i said to him before he passed was how proud i was of him... that he was my hero. he always has been from the time i was a little girl, and always will be until i'm wrinkly and gray.

nearly every day something happens that causes me to break down; and it's usually a song i hear on the radio. today, i heard "homesick" by mercy me on the way home from school and just dissolved into tears. but i forced myself to keep listening because it's such a beautiful song. and it speaks so directly to the pain i'm feeling. here are the lyrics:

""you're in a better place, i've heard a thousand times
and at least a thousand times i've rejoiced for you
but the reason why i'm broken, the reason why i cry
is how long must i wait to be with you.

i close my eyes and i see your face
if home's where my heart is than i'm out of place
lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
i've never been more homesick than now.

help me lord cause i don't understand your ways
the reason why i wonder if i'll ever know
but, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
cause i'm still here, so far away from home.

in christ, there are no goodbyes
and in christ, there is no end
so i'll hold onto jesus with all that i have
to see you again...

i close my eyes and i see your face
if home's where my heart is than i'm out of place
lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
i've never been more homesick than now."

you can listen to it here. such a pretty, pretty song... heartache filled with *hope*. that is how the grieving process is when we know our loved ones are with jesus. does it bring comfort? absolutely. does it stop the pain? not a chance. we are still bound by our earthly mindsets and missing the ones that we love so dearly. as christians i feel as though sometimes we do each other a disservice trivializing the loss of others by saying cliche things about not mourning because they are in heaven. scripture tells us to "grieve not as those who have no hope". our grief will look different, but it's still painful. it's still a process.

and that is okay. jesus understands. and he meets us right there in our pain.

it's been less than two months and i feel as though life has moved on for everyone but me and my family. which is true. it has. and that's the hard part. i know i've moved on while others have been grieving too. it's natural, i guess. although i hope my response will be different the next time i walk through this with a friend. i don't want people to forget to pray for us. that there are days where we feel utterly broken and shattered by all that we have lost in my dad. that every day we have to face life without a man that we loved so dearly.

i'm just beginning to unpack all of the emotions that have been filling my heart for the past couple of months. i know it's a process, so i'll just keep walking and keep trusting jesus. one day at a time.

what i'm loving.

a few things i'm loving lately...

- the stage bella is in. she is just soooo adorable. today in the car she said "mama! hand!" so i reached back there to give her my hand... she just wanted to hold it. that's all. kept squeezing her tiny fingers around my hand and wouldn't let go. i drove with the biggest smile on my face as i held her sweet little hand. love my baby.

- the sound of emmy's heartbeat. and the fact that my mom got to hear it with me.

- my favorite devotional ever: jesus calling. coupled with a good cup of coffee.

- the fact that nick&i got in bed last friday night at 11 oclock with mcdonalds we picked up on the way home from our friends house. just little things like that i love. especially when they're with him.

- shopping dates at target with my sister and nephew. when we're separated by an aisle, i hear jude yelling "auntie MEG!" and it makes me smile.

- vera bradley. i've always liked her stuff, but right now i'm in a big vera bradley phase for some reason. i got a big bag in this print for christmas:

and then just ordered this lunch bag the other day since i've been taking my lunch to work in recycled target bags...

- long conversations with girlfriends.

- parfaits made out of greek yogurt, light cool whip, granola and blueberries. i've had one almost every day for the past week.

- bella's bed sheets for her new room. ordered them from target and i love them. we're making over the extra bedroom in our house as her "big girl room" and these sheets give me a starting point to decorate. can't wait to bring it all together.

- my new no-sew pillows i created this weekend using this tutorial. LOVE. big fan of stitch witchery. will post pics soon.

- time with my family. we have all been glued together in so many ways in the past few months and while i wish it was for different reasons, i'm still so thankful for them all.

- my christmas present from nick; the tea&crumpets apron from anthropologie that i've been wanting (i love that he can take hints). how adorable is this?

- the combo on our end table of an antique aqua mason jar i picked up with some hot pink roses. love pink&turquoise.

- the hope of a snow day on thursday. nick&i have our fingers crossed!

- my necklace that mom, gret and i got after dad passed. it's made by lisa leonard and i love her stuff (also have a necklace with bella's name on it; need to get another charm for emmy!) but i wear it as often as i can and for some reason it gives me a tangible reminder of my dad and the amazing blessing he was to us, and many others.

anything specific you are loving lately??

what's for breakfast this morning {cinnamon roll cake}.

oh.my.deliciousness.

i found this recipe on pinterest, and couldn't wait to try it. i've been trying to actually make some of the recipes i've pinned on there instead of just admiring them from afar. this was one of them.

i made this cake for my family new years morning. what a way to ring in the new year, let me tell you. i do have one critique; it calls for a whole lotta butter. i mean, a whole lot. so next time i would cut it down--maybe in half--and i think it would still be just as yummy. there's just something about knowing that i'm consuming a cake that calls for three sticks of butter that almost ruins it for me (sorry, paula deen). so i'll try cutting back the butter next time! but it is soooo yummy; warm, gooey and delicious. it's super rich, too. so pour yourself a tall glass of cold milk and enjoy this one, folks.

cinnamon roll cake

cake:
* 3 c. flour
* 1/4 t. salt
* 1 c. sugar
* 4 t. baking powder
* 1 1/2 c. milk
* 2 eggs
* 2 t. vanilla
* 1/2 c. butter, melted (i would try cutting this back to maybe 1/4 c.)

topping:
* 1 c. butter, softened (again... would try cutting this back to 1/2 c.)
* 1 c. brown sugar
* 2 T. flour
* 1 T. cinnamon

glaze:
* 2 c. powdered sugar
* 5 T. milk
* 1 t. vanilla

- for cake, mix everything together but the melted butter. slowly stir in melted butter and pour into a greased 9x13 pan.
- for topping, combine all ingredients. drop evenly over batter and swirl with a knife.
- bake at 350 for approximately 30 minutes. while warm, drizzle with glaze.

this is the type of cake that will get you out of bed in the morning! enjoy :)

refreshing words {trusting in jesus}.

yesterday's jesus calling reading. love, love, love this lil book and how it applies to my heart every.single.day.

"i want you to learn a new habit. try saying 'i trust you jesus' in response to whatever happens to you. if there is time, think about who i am in all my power and glory; ponder also the depth and breadth of my love for you.

this simple practice will help you see me in every situation, acknowledging my sovereign control over the universe. when you view events from this perspective--through the light of my universal presence--fear loses its grip on you. adverse circumstances become growth opportunities when you affirm you trust in me no matter what. you receive blessings gratefully, realizing they flow directly from my hand of grace. your continual assertion of trusting me will strengthen our relationship and keep you close to me."

(psalm 63:2, isaiah 40:10-11, psalm 139:7-10)

may i strive to have this be my response: i trust you jesus. loosen fear's grip on me. i am yours, lord. may i trust you more this year that i did in the last one.

farewell, two thousand eleven.

i'm always a bit reflective in january. saying goodbye to the past year, and welcome a new one with excitement, renewal and hope. this year has been a bit different thinking about moving forward. why? because moving forward means doing so without my dad. i know he'd want me to, and i know i have to, but life just isn't the same without him. i have moments every day where i break down in tears. usually in the car. usually listening to some song on the radio. or when i want to call him and then i remember i can't. ever again.

what continually gives me comfort as i look forward to the new year is knowing that i can have hope. jesus has been so near to me during this hard season, and for that i am so thankful. i continually focus on the passage found in 1 thessalonians 4:13-18 that talks about those that have gone before us... and specifically verse thirteen that says: "grieve not as those who have no hope."

so as i reflect on this past year--such a mix of blessings and hardship--i can focus on all that god has done, and the promise of what's to come. because i know there's more good stuff ahead.

here's a reflection of two thousand and eleven... picture-overload-style.

january
- my thirtieth birthday: a shopping trip with my handsome husband and a surprise party planned by him at one of my fav restaurants in dallas: eno's pizza in trendy bishop arts district. so fun.

- bella taking her first big girl bath in the real bathtub! she loved it (clearly).

february
- snow storm shut down dallas for a week! we were ecstatic! everyday was spent with our friends... we ate, went sledding, played games, games and more games, and when we got really stir crazy, we went for a trek to starbucks and walmart just down the street. hands down the most fun week of winter.

march
- girls/guys weekends. guys went camping. girls stayed in the omni hotel in las colinas. which sounds better to you??! :) we ate sushi, took crazy pictures and stayed up late eating junk food, talking and laughing. no matter how old we are, we still need girls nights.

- our first niece, sophia joyce cornwell, was born on march 15th! we were so excited to go visit her and introduce bella to her new cousin!

- nick's birthday extravaganza. just a few friends went out to--you guessed it--eno's pizza in the bishop arts district. man, we miss that place.

april
- road trip to houston for some family time! my cousins and aunt live there, and my mom&dad, and gret and jude flew down for the weekend. so.much.fun.

- final four! nick, dad and i got to go down to reliant stadium to check out all of the final four festivities. it was so special; my dad and i have loved watching march madness together for years. one of my favorite memories from this past year.

- road trip to tyler to stay with one of my longtime best friends, hannah and her sweet family!

- the obligatory "it's april; put your child in a patch of bluebonnets and take a picture" picture. couldn't help it. adorable.

- easter. service at our church, irving bible church, where the theme was "we have hope in all of our trials... because he is alive." i've been reminded of that service so many times in recent days. because he lives, we can face tomorrow.

may
- my first mother's day. nick took me to brunch at daddy jacks and we had a picnic with his family at lake grapevine. perfect day. love, love, love being a mama! especially to my sweet bella grace.

- may 19, our sweet girl turned ONE! we had a vintage garden birthday party for her; our apartment was packed with friends and family. such a special time!

- on may 28, we pulled out of dallas and headed north to our new home in maine. our friends, matt&camille and candace made the journey with us; it was a blast!

june
- bampy happy to be with both of his grandkids! he was always saying "hey, take a picture!" so here's one of those times...

- we took our friends everywhere in our new home state... saw lots of coastal scenery, quaint villages and ate lots and lots of seafood and other new england treats. such a great time!

- one of the summer's highlights: watching the mavericks beat the heat. there was lots of loud celebration noise coming from nick, dad and i on that night and the days to follow...

july
- lots and lots of pool time. it was hot; not as hot as texas, but still. h-o-t.

- fourth of july! spent it with the family, went to a band concert in the park and ended the day with smores and fireworks.

- our first house! nick&i spent lots of hot july afternoons at our new house painting and peeling wallpaper. nick always had country music blaring and we stopped many times in the middle of our work to daydream about all that was to come for us in this new home of ours.

- a highlight of many-a-summer is when the farringtons come up from georgia to visit. this summer was extra special with the babies and as we now know, our last visit with dad there. we always have so much fun, but this year was even more so.

august
- bella's dedication in our new church, the rock.

- i don't have pictures for this, but god's provision of jobs for both nick and i! yay!
- bella and i took a road trip to boston to hang with two of my best friends from high school and their kiddos. we had a blast! a trip to ikea, a girls night out for the mamas, and bella's first trip to the beach. so fun.

- nick&i took a weekend getaway for our third anniversary a little late this year. we were traveling from texas to maine on our anniversary, so we celebrated in august this year! a leisurely drive around the coast, lunch at a hole-in-the-wall seafood joint on the water, and then a stay at the lucerne inn (where we were married) including a delicious dinner and brunch the next morning. so thankful for this man that asked me to marry him.

- our last family photos together with my dad taken in my parents backyard. they turned out beautiful; so thankful we have them.

- we found out august 18th that we were pregnant with our second, emmy faith. bella made the announcement to all of our family wearing this shirt:

september
- we moved into our new house labor day weekend! lots of work, but we were so excited.
- apple picking! nick & bella's first time.

october
- road trip to see bampy in the hospital in boston... bella and jude had their first sleepover in a hotel.

- first snow: the day before halloween. the minute bella woke up, we brought her to the window. she couldn't stop looking outside.

- halloween! our sweet little strawberry.

november
- aunt jayne got to come stay for a while to help out while bampy was in the hospital. it was a huge blessing to have her company during such a hard time. bella loved getting to hang with her.

- my sweet dad went to be with jesus just a few minutes before midnight the day before thanksgiving. many precious moments spent by his bedside... so incredibly proud to be his daughter. so immensely blessed that he was my dad.

december
- 24 weeks with our sweet baby emmy on christmas eve.

- christmastime was hard, but special this year as i was reminded anew of the hope that we have in jesus. bella especially enjoyed christmas this year (although not while on santa's lap)...

thank you, lord jesus, for all the blessings of this past year... and for your grace to sustain us through the tough times. you have been with us every step of the way, and will continue leading us as we step into two thousand and twelve, anticipating all that you have in store for us.

happy new year. may it be a *blessed* one.