a sugar&spice baby shower.

my sister is due in almost exactly a month with my sweet niece, lucy mae. yes, apparently we like to be pregnant together :) my nephew jude and bella are only four months apart, and this time lucy and emmy will only be a month apart! exciting times.

this past weekend we had a little baby shower for her at my house. i love planning parties. especially ones for those i love. i wanted to make it really special and pretty. my sister is not super girlie, and she doesn't like pink. which is completely opposite of me. so i was constantly trying to weigh out wanting to make her shower pretty and sweet, but not too frou frou.

for this pink-loving-girlie-mama-to-be-of-two-girls this posed a bit of a challenge. but i found this really pretty shower when i was googling ideas one day that gave me some inspiration. i knew there was no way it would be this fancy schmancy, but it helped give me a bit of a vision since everything else was oozing with pink!

i'm not big into themes... don't like them when they are too overdone. but i do like to use a subtle theme that ties everything together and provides inspiration for a starting point in planning. for lucy's shower, i chose "sugar&spice". you know... "sugar and spice and everything nice, that's what little girls are made of." i made a garland out of fabric scraps i had in my stash by tearing long strips and tying them each to a long strand of turquoise ribbon. the colors worked well and provided a base for the shower decor; i tried to emphasize turquoise, yellow and green with hints of orange and a bit of pink (you can't have a baby shower for a little girl and completely escape it!) this garland provided the *perfect* backdrop to the food table.

i borrowed a white eyelet lace tablecloth from my mom and bought some pretty yellow spider mums for the center of the table. the tray i modpodged with pretty vintage scrapbook paper for bella's first birthday party last year. it's still one of my favorite centerpieces and is always on our dining room table.

i made little place cards to label the food using scrapbook paper and embellished them with fabric and ribbon. i like to try to do that for parties so that guests know what they're putting on their plates...

speaking of the food... it was oh-so-delish. i requested some of my sister's favorites from our family and close friends, following a brunch theme. my mom brought a fruit salad, my aunt made a fruit and chocolate cake trifle, gretchen's mother-in-law made mini quiches and almond cake squares, her sister-in-law kate brought french breakfast muffins, our friend tanya made a french toast bake, another friend emily brought a crackers&cheese platter and i made caprese salad skewers.

our aunt dawn brought some of gret's favorite candy: twizzlers, malted milk balls and sour patch kids. i filled vases and mason jars with the candy and added them to the table.

the cake was beautiful! our friend jen owns a cake business and made this *gorgeous* vintage-y chocolate cake with buttercream frosting. so lovely.

the day was really special. my sister was showered with lots of love, gifts, and best of all she was surrounded by the presence of close friends and family. little lucy will be very well loved and so blessed to have such a great mama and family, praying for her and walking through life next to her.

lucy mae, we can't wait to meet you! love you sweet little girl!

this post is linked up to these *lovely* blogs:
newlyweds on a budget
mommy by day crafter by night
chef in training
homemaker in heels

it's tourney time.

this weekend was a good one. filled with moments where i found myself thinking "don't ever forget this... right here, right now. live in this moment" i do that often. take pictures in my mind of times that i want to hold on to forever. which is one of the reasons i love blogging. i love to try to document special times for our family to be able to look back on in years to come.

this weekend we kicked off our february vacation week and could not be more excited. we have been counting down the days since we both went back to school after christmas break. luckily for us, maine schools have a week off in february and another off in april. every february break the state of maine goes nuts for high school basketball tournaments. if you've never lived here, it's hard to explain. but if you have, you get it. all the games are played at the bangor auditorium this weird shaped landmark in downtown bangor that was built in 1955. it's referred to as the "mecca" of high school basketball and is the home of countless memories for those of us that were privileged to play there.

my dad was a very talented (recognized at an all state level) basketball player when he was in high school, and lead his team to many victories on the floor of the bangor auditorium. i attended a small christian high school and since we didn't have a large enough gymnasium where we could play our home games, we played them all at the auditorium. i'll never forget the first time we had practice there... dad came in with me and wanted to see me make my first shot on that floor. he stayed to shoot around with me for a bit before practice. it sounds totally cheesy, but it was really special for both of us. not only had he played there when he was in high school, but he always took me to tournament games when i was growing up; i think the first one i went to with him i was only three or four.

i've told you how nostalgic i am, right?? such memories.

i hadn't been to a tournament game in a while, and i'd only told nick about how fun this week was in the state of maine. the atmosphere, the excitement, the pep bands and smell of popcorn. the boys team from the high school he teaches at played friday night, so we packed up bella and went as a family. it was one of my favorite times the three of us have spent together. being there opened such a floodgate of memories for me...everything reminded me of the years i had played there. and also of my dad; i wished he could've been there with us. he would've loved taking his granddaughter to her first tournament game.

bella was mesmerized; for the entire first quarter she sat perfectly still, clapping her hands when the crowd cheered and just staring in awe at everything going on. i took her to get fruit snacks at the concession stand when the game went into overtime and she couldn't wait to get back to our seats "ohhhh go watch football, mama!" (she calls every sport football... we're working on it)

as i watched her sitting in her seat, her legs swinging with excitement, her little face lit up as she took everything in, it struck me how much she is looking like a little girl. she isn't our baby anymore. after the game, we went out to one of our favorite local pizza places for dinner. my heart felt so full. i realized i was savoring every moment so much because in less than two months, it will never be just us and bella again. as excited and overjoyed as i am to meet emmy and have her join our family, i am growing increasingly aware of the fact that our time as a family of three is coming closer and closer to it's end.

so i'm making every effort to savor every moment. to make memories with bella in the weeks to come. and as ready as i am to not be pregnant anymore, to enjoy and treasure the time we have left with just her before we welcome another sweet baby girl into this world :)

"yay! clap your hands!"

what's for your sweet tooth {world's best peanut butter chocolate chip cookies}.

i found this recipe on pinterest at 9:30 one night and had to make them right then and there. due to a shortage of peanut butter (bella is obsessed with it these days) i had to wait. i decided they'd make the perfect valentine's gift from bella to her peanut-butter-and-chocolate-loving daddy.

the title of this post does not lie. these are the world's best peanut butter chocolate chip cookies. hands down. pure deliciousness.

try them as soon as possible. like, maybe tonight.

world's best peanut butter chocolate chip cookies

* 1/2 c. butter, softened
* 1/2 c. peanut butter
* 1/2 c. sugar
* 1/2 c. brown sugar
* 1/2 t. baking powder
* 1/2 t. baking soda
* 1 egg
* 1/2 t. vanilla
* 1 1/4 c. flour
* 1/2 to 1 T. milk
* 1/2 to 1 c. semi sweet chocolate chips

- preheat oven to 375.
- in a large mixing bowl, beat together butter and peanut butter until smooth and creamy.
- add sugars, baking powder and baking soda. add in the egg and vanilla. mix in flour. stir in milk and chocolate chips until blended.
- drop cookie batter by rounded spoonfuls onto a greased cookie sheet. bake 7 to 9 minutes, or until golden brown.

enjoy warm from the oven with a tall glass of cold milk.
pure heaven.

handprint valentine.

on monday, i had a valentine craft day with my little valentine. i would say "littlest" valentine, but that's not entirely true: that would be emmy :) i knew i wanted to incorporate her little handprint because there is just something about seeing it that makes my mama-heart melt. i also came across this recipe on pinterest for "world's best peanut butter chocolate chip cookie". world's best? shoot. those became a must for a gift for daddy and a few other special valentines.

(i'll post the cookie recipe soon).

but here is our cute little valentine gift for daddy:

bella loved it when i painted her hand and when she saw it's little print on paper. we went to joann's yesterday and picked out some scrapbook paper and cardstock to finish making the valentine. while she was napping, i got to work cutting out the pieces and putting it together. i always have a supply of paper doilies on hand from the dollar store, which came in handy for this project. i made up a cutesy little poem to add as well:

"i made for you my handprint
on this special valentine's day
to tell you that i love you
and in my heart you'll stay."

valentine complete.

we had fun making the cookies. bella loooooves to help me cook. whenever we bake together the rest of the day she walks around the house proclaiming "i help mama cook". such a proud lil peacock.

unfortunately sometimes she's a bit of a distraction. the first batch we made i burned half of the cookies because i forgot they were still in the oven. ooops. so yesterday while she was napping i whipped up another batch. when she woke up, we (or i) wrapped stacks of them in waxed paper, tied with twine and embellished with a little circle we cut out of scrapbook paper.

daddy's bundle of cookies had a special note: "to the best daddy in the whole WORLD! love, bella"

:)

i'm excited to do many more little projects like this one with my two little girls!! hope yall had a wonderful valentines day. my two valentines (the ones who aren't living in my belly) aren't feeling the hottest today, so i'm going to go rest while i can. this mama needs a vacation!

things i {heart} today.

i've always loved valentines day. a whole day set aside as a reminder to be intentional about doing nice things to those we love? yeah, i'm in. today my heart has been heavy as i think about those struggling with this day of love. friends who have lost husbands, others who have sick children, others who are reminded today of the ache of unfulfilled desires, and my own sweet mom as she faces this day without her husband of nearly thirty two years.

no matter where we find ourselves today--feeling completely blessed, or being reminded of all the ways in which we feel alone--we can be blanketed by the infinite love of jesus. a love we will work our whole lives to imitate here on this earth, but will still somehow be left longing for more.

my prayer is that no matter where you are today, blessings will shine through and the love of jesus will feel a little bit closer. if you're feeling lonely, sad or depressed... try doing something for someone else. you'll be amazed at what good it does your heart. after all, this day is all about love... not just receiving it, but giving it too.

things that i {heart} today:
- my sweet husband. he is sick. i went upstairs to check on him and tell him my valentines gift to him was a big ole pot of homemade chicken noodle soup that was down on the stove. he looked at me and said apologetically through an almost non-existent voice: "your gift will have to wait." i laughed. yeah, i kind of figured seeing as he hasn't gotten out of the laying down position in almost three days. oh, how i love him.

- all things bella. except for when she's being naughty. but still, that girl just steals my heart. on our way home from a playdate this morning, she was talking on the phone to her little buddies (the children of two of my best friends from high school) "goodbye, olivia. goodbye, wyatt. nice to see you! see you tomorrow. i love you! so much." ohhhhh my dear little daughter!

- walking through downtown this cold winter's morning, carrying bella, and discovering someone had taped white papers with painted red hearts on every.single.window of every.single.building downtown. how adorable is that?!

- delivering valentines treats to my mom at work today. dad always used to get her date-filled cookies from a little bakery downtown for valentines day. bella and i bought those, along with some cream horns, and made a surprise delivery to mimi today. oh, how it made me miss my dad (as just about everything does).

- bringing my sister her fav: coconut flavored dunkin donuts coffee to her office. it's also my dad's old office. it's the first time i've been able to think about walking in there. i don't know how she does it every week. but i'm so glad we visited today. again, i felt his presence.

- toasted bagels from the bagel shop. aaaaand their iced coffee: hazelnut to be exact. what a *perfect* valentines-y breakfast.

- getting to hang out with two of my high school girlfriends and watching our kiddos play and laugh together. it's so special i could cry (remember how sentimental i am? oh yeah... and pregnant).

- the little craft bella and i have been working on for a few special valentines. i'll post pictures later.

- warm peanut butter and chocolate chip cookies that we made for daddy. and a big glass of milk. heaven.

just a few things that i am loving today. and last, but not least, this song that i kept on repeat in our car today as we drove around... it's a worship song by jared anderson that nick&i had played during a slideshow at our wedding reception. just give it a listen. and remember whatever love you find yourself blessed with or longing for today, nothing compares to just how much he loves us.

happy valentines day!

family photo wall.

yesterday i completed a project i've been working on for a while. this summer i started collecting white photo frames while on a trip to ikea with my girlfriends. i got a good start on my little collection, but unfortunately our closest ikea is outside of boston, which is about a three and a half hour car trip for us. which also means we don't get to go there often.

ok, really ever.

so i finished my collection of frames off with a few i found at the christmas tree shoppe. ever heard of it? this was a new discovery for me when we moved to new england this summer. i'd never been to one before. wow, was i missing out. this is seriously one of my new favorite stores. inexpensive? cute stuff? great finds? yes, yes, yes. i *love* it.

i ordered prints of some of my favorite pictures of us... some of just nick&i, some of bella, a few of the three of us, pictures with my side of the family, pictures with nick's side, and some cute shots of the cousins before new ones will need to be added as our family is expanding like crazy over the next few months! exciting.

to hang them, i used the newspaper trick i did with the photo collage above our couch (except this time i used leftover christmas wrapping paper). time consuming, but better than having to re-hang all the pictures and filling our wall with nail holes!

i love the white frames against the light grey paint color of our hallway walls (in case you're curious, the shade is glidden's smooth stone. it's the color of our foyer, the hallways and our bedroom/bathroom!)

as i said, some of my favorite family photos are on this wall. one of my favorite pictures from our wedding was this one: nick&i requested our fathers to come pray over us while a worship song was played during the ceremony. i love the sentiment this photo holds--for so many reasons.

and this is one of my favorite shots of bella; she was about ten months in this photo taken last spring in texas in her easter dress. the classic i-have-a-child-and-live-in-texas shot in the bluebonnets that bloom each year. and this frame is my fav on the whole wall; it's actually plastic... shhhhh! it was only 4.99 and i love how elegant and pretty it is! can't wait for another trip to ikea so i can pick up a few more.

my favorite thing to use to decorate our home are pictures of our family. i have them everywhere. above our couch, above nick&i's bed, in our hallway, our bathroom, and have plans for little photo walls for all of our bedrooms. it may be overkill to some, but to me, it's sentimental and precious. i love it. this project in particular was healing for me, as i incorporated a couple of my favorite photos of my dad. i have a few more i want to add, as well as some shots of he and bella in her new room, but i love that i have those special moments captured forever.

white picture frames= $40-45
prints= $20-25
wall full of memories= priceless.

no sew pillow covers.

so i bought the most beautiful fabric this summer on sale at joanns and i've been so excited to make covers for some old pillows we've had for a while.

isn't it so pretty? (if you're interested, it's called pom pom play spa by waverly and it's actually upholstery fabric) it incorporates all of the colors i have in my living room from the yellow dresser our tv sits on, to the robin-egg-blue walls, to green frames i have in a small collage, to my newest color obsession: turquoise. i couldn't wait to make my new pillows from this *perfect* fabric. however, i've never attempted that type of project before so being a little intimidated by it as well as pregnant and zapped of all energy, it took me a few months to get around to making them.

but i'm so glad i did.

and surprisingly, they were pretty simple to make. i've posted before about my new bff; stitch witchery. amazing stuff. seriously. i found this no sew tutorial on pinterest and went to town. it was a great tutorial which i highly recommend. aaaand since the instructions are written out so wonderfully, i'm not going to try to replicate them. i'm one of the worst take-pictures-of-the-process bloggers there is, and have no pictures to show you of what i did except the before and after of my pillows. sorry about that. i just got concentrating on my work, was a little nervous that they weren't going to turn out, and i just didn't have the where-with-all to snap pictures along the way.

have i sufficiently apologized? i'm honestly trying to get better. i promise.

here's my couch before:

i loved these pillows when i first bought them at target a few years ago... they were actually on the couch i had in my old counseling office. my first real job. but they're just too masculine and plain for my taste in our home. i couldn't wait to get something different!

and here's my couch now:

much prettier. i love the colors incorporated in the fabric i used, and the fun, whimsical pattern. (the other turquoise throw pillow is courtesy of urban outfitters)

have any pillows laying around that you are tired of? i highly recommend this simple project. just a little work and you will have new, beautiful accents to any room in your home. it's been about a month and i'm still pretty excited about my new pillows, i'm not going to lie. it may change your life... or at least make your home a little bit lovelier ;)

football mourning.

i have a pet peeve. it's when people hear that i am a new england patriots fan and they ask me why. seriously? i'm from maine. maine is IN new england. i could maybe understand if they were the "boston patriots" (which even then if you have ever been to maine you would know that we consider ourselves an extension of boston when it comes to the celtics and red sox). but the new england patriots? that's like asking someone who lives in dallas why they're a cowboys fan.

it's simple geography, friends.

anyway. today i'm in football mourning. i'm not kidding. i wish i was. my dad passed his love and passion for sports down to me. from a very young age i loved them. we went to games together (i had a debut on a local television station when i was three or four; as i recall my dad had taken me to a high school basketball tournament game... a big deal here in maine... and the camera zoomed in on me, sitting next to my dad, asleep on his shoulder). we watched games together. we talked about games together.

it was our thing.

from march madness, to fantasy football (i beat him more times than he would probably ever admit), to growing up shooting hoops in the driveway, we shared it all.

yesterday, i missed him.

our team, the new england patriots, were in another superbowl. dad and i had been so excited to watch sports together once nick&i moved to maine this summer. nick couldn't wait either. but unfortunately, we were only able to watch a few games together before dad was gone. i did, however, get to watch the game last night in one of my dad's patriots tshirts. an avid fan, he had made it to gillette stadium for his first patriots game just a few weeks before he was admitted to the hospital in boston. he had been SO excited. even with my emmy-belly, dad's shirt was absolutely ginormous but i loved wearing it while i watched "our team".

dad would've been disgusted by the loss. when the giants beat the patriots four years ago in the superbowl, corrupting their perfect season, i called my dad after the game. "i'm depressed" he said. and wasn't kidding. sure, it only lasted about a day until he was back to his jovial self, but we take our sports very seriously.

so today, i've been doing laundry, baking bread, experimenting with homemade coffee syrup... anything to keep my mind off of the fact that we lost last night. but i realize even more so, i'm trying to distract myself from realizing that i don't have my dad to call and talk to about the big game.

nick&i always say loving sports is a fun thing when your teams win and a hard thing when they lose. nick often quotes a line from the movie fever pitch where an uncle is warning his nephew about becoming a red sox fan "careful, kid... they'll break your haaht." (translated: heart. no, that's not a typo. it's how people talk around here)

it's that way with sports. you win some, you lose some. but the wins are a whole lot more fun.

dad, i know you could probably care less about football now that you're with jesus. just wanted you to know that nick&i will keep your sports-loving-legacy alive. bella woke up last night when i checked on her before i went to bed. and as she sleepily lifted her head from her crib, with squinted eyes, she whispered "football?"

i knew you'd be proud.

pillow talk.

my name is megan and i am in love. in love with my new pillow.

i know, i know. i'm being dramatic. but seriously, check this beauty out:

i saw it in another blogger's photos and i became obsessed with it. like, major pillow crush, people. i still had money left over from christmas and my birthday... and let's face it: at 28 weeks with child, i'm not really looking to buy a cute new outfit. i'd much rather save my cash for clothes i can wear when my belly doesn't look like a giant watermelon.

so, i looked it up on the urban outfitters website and there she was. amazing, right??

most of the colors were sold out, but luckily my current obsession is turquoise and that color was still in stock. it was a sign. i placed the order and it was delivered to our house just this week. the velvet fabric makes it so plush and pretty and the pintuck design is just amazing. it was definitely more than i would ever pay for a pillow. i mean, i have made most of the ones in our house from fabric i've gotten on sale at joanns. but ever have those splurges where you feel completely justified because you just love them so much?

this is mine.

i can't stop staring at it.

the other pillows i made from a no sew tutorial i found on pinterest. i'll post about those soon, i promise! happy weekend!

GO PATRIOTS.

authenticity.

tonight before i put bella down, i spent some extra time rocking her. it's my favorite time of the day, bedtime. for those few moments she is still and quiet and cuddled into my chest. as i sing to her, she stares up at me with her big, brown eyes and softly begs "more?" whenever there is a pause.

it's the sweetest moment of my every day.

tonight i sang to her some of my dad's favorite songs. some of the hymns that he sang from his hospital bed moments before he met jesus face to face. "oh how i love jesus, oh how i love jesus, oh how i love jesus, because he first loved me." i love being able to pass on dad's legacy of faith to my girls. and tonight, bella was mesmerized by these sweet, old words.

it made me think of the past two months and how they have been the hardest of my life. and yet, how the lord has never been so near. as i have shared so much of my journey on this blog, many people have thanked me for my openness. you have no idea what this has meant to me. thank you so very much for your sweet words, and for your encouragement to keep writing. it's so very healing to me to continue to talk about my dad, to document things that i remember and to never forget this man that has been so pivotal in me becoming who i am today.

i have not always been so open, so vulnerable, so authentic. in fact, i have struggled to allow others to see me in the ways which i am weak.

i was talking with a good friend of mine the other day. she is one of my best friends dating back to my high school days. we were talking about this very subject, and how both of us strive to share our struggles and our weaknesses on our blogs; not just the things that make us look like we have it all together.

this friend and i were reminiscing about a conversation we had shortly after high school. i was going through a rough time after a summer full of weddings and shared with her my struggle to be patient and content. i'll never forget her reaction. her eyes filled with tears as she told me that she had found herself many times thinking that my life was perfect because i never talked about struggling with anything.

and that hit me like a ton of bricks.

what a disservice i was doing myself. what a disservice i was doing those around me! god longed to use my brokenness, my struggles as a way for me to allow others to walk alongside of me... to experience love and encouragement from my friends. he also longed to use my vulnerability as a way for me to bless others. ever since that night, being authentic has been a goal of mine. i've seen the lord use my honesty about my own struggles in so many ways in my counseling career, ministry, friendships, and in my marriage. i totally credit that friend (and the lord) for being so honest with me and calling me out on such a flaw in my life.

it's not always easy. i'm not used to telling others "i'm struggling". i'm not used to asking those close to me for the things that i need. but it's in those moments of weakness that we find the greatest rewards. we are loved more fully, known more deeply and blessed more richly.

i was reminded of this passage the other morning and it struck a chord with me on this very idea of living life so raw and allowing others to see our hurt. it's in second corinthians where paul is talking about how he was given a "thorn in his flesh" (an unknown struggle) that served to keep him humble, and relying on god's power. he says:

"the lord said to me 'my grace is sufficient for you. for my power is made perfect in weakness.' therefore, i will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that christ's power may rest on me. that is why, for christ's sake, i delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. for when i am weak, then i am strong."
(2 Cor. 12:7-10)

this passage has always inspired me; but in the midst of my grief and pain it breathed life into me.

so i'm learning. i'm learning to not be afraid to tell other's i still struggle every single day with missing my dad. i'm learning to not feel like i need to make others comfortable when they talk to me; being honest about my grief may likely make some people uncomfortable. and that's okay. i'm learning to tell my husband when i just need a break; and allow him to serve me without feeling guilty. i'm learning to allow jesus to use this season of my life to draw me into his sweet presence and share with others what i am learning.

we all need that from each other. being genuine is perhaps one of the greatest gifts we can give one another. someone told me a few years ago "at first, being vulnerable may feel like you're walking around without skin on". which is true. sometimes it hurts. sometimes it's painful. sometimes it's the scariest thing we could ever do. but god is faithful to put the skin back on.

he is faithful to redeem and restore. to heal and to save. for his strength is made *perfect* in our weakness. and that's good news.